Me, Too and Massage Therapy

I prefer to avoid topics of conversation that make me feel uncomfortable. This subject, however, has been knocking on the door of my subconscious for decades. I originally wrote this piece awhile back but decided to update it given the recent allegations and criminal trial against a well known icon of the music and entertainment industry. The Me, Too movement, the ongoing sexual abuse scandal in the Catholic Church had nudged me forward. A few years ago, the brilliant author, Ronan Farrow, wrote a book called, Catch and Kill: Lies, Spies and a Conspiracy to Protect Predators. It’s the story of the cover-up and allegations of rape, intimidation and sexual misconduct against movie mogul Harvey Weinstein. 

This story is not about rape. 

This is a story about inappropriate behavior that I experienced from another Licensed Massage Therapist while I was receiving a session from him. The incident happened over three decades ago in my office. This new practitioner was working nearby, so we scheduled an exchange of services. While he was proceeding with the session, he exposed my breast area. We went to the same school, and the protocol was to drape the breast area. 

I felt so exposed, violated and uncomfortable and I spoke up immediately. My recollection was that he floundered and said something lame like he thought it would be ok, not to drape me, I assume, because I had been practicing for a while. I was very upset. I didn’t know how to proceed. 

I reported the situation to the person he was working for, and I felt unsupported. It felt like I wasn’t taken seriously. The person he was working for said to me, somewhat jokingly, I told so and so not to do that anymore.

“Gee, thanks”, I thought. 

Another Licensed Massage Therapist colleague reported something similar was experienced by one of her clients at the hands of the same person. I heard several other upsetting stories from other women regarding inappropriate conduct. Conversely, I know of people who thought this person was a great practitioner. I confidentially shared my experience with a physician who knew of this person and he asked me if I overreacted or misconstrued the situation. I remember emphatically replying “No!” I have since learned that this is an all too common response to those who have been victimized. 

This is how I recall I proceeded. I decided to put a call into a colleague, and she directed me to call another Licensed Practitioner, who was a member of the Rhode Island Chapter of The American Massage Therapy Association. I remember he said I was the first person who had contacted him about this type of complaint. He told me I could call the police and report this person, or remain anonymous and the grievance would be filed with the AMTA. I decided to report the grievance and maintain my anonymity.

I wish I had been braver. 

I feel I didn’t do enough to protect other people, and that haunts me. I feared it was my word against the perpetrators’. I felt I could be accused of slander. I don’t think my feelings and actions were terminally unique. At the time, it didn’t occur to me to file a complaint with the Rhode Island State Licensing Board. Recently, I discovered that for years complaints were handled by a clerk and a sole decision was made by that person. I was happy to learn that in recent years there is a board composed of four Licensed Massage Therapists who now handle complaints of this nature. 

I hope this piece has been helpful. Please feel free to reach out to me and let me know what you think.